How wild I was to venture out on my own. A mother gone, a house alone. Most teenagers would kill for this situation, the freedom to do whatever they want. — I felt lonely by it all and couldn’t stand the quiet. As I cooked, the TV blared and the radio blasted. Sounds were all around me, vibrating on the air waves as if to tell me that I wasn’t alone. But even these little tricks, distractions couldn’t stop me from feeling this way. I kept all the lights on and put one, two, three dogs on the bed with me. I smelled my mother’s pillows and relished the scent of them, the scent of her.